Thursday, April 19, 2007

Military Retirement Bonus

If this "find" doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!

The Navy found they had too many officers and non-commissioned officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back.

Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."

10 comments:

THE ANiTOKiD said...

Hi! I am participating in doshdosh' technorati favorites experiment. I just fav'd and linked you. hope you fave and link me too. I'm at www.anitokid.blogspot.com More power to you! Mabuhay!

esofthub said...

the anitokid, no problem.

Ipsofacto said...

I've linked to you, too. I don't expect a link back - I've added you on account that I really do enjoy your site and have subscribed to your feed.

Keep up the good work, Sir.

esofthub said...

ipsofacto, I appreciate the link and your positive comment about the blog. I just got done perusing your blog. It's definitely coming from a "straight shooter's" point of view. I hope things continue to go well for you while you here in Korea. Are you in Seoul?

Ipsofacto said...

Hi esofthub

Yes, I'm in Seoul. As you can see I tend to write somewhat negatively about being here but it's all in good jest.

Makes a change from the usual "I love Korea" stuff.


Please continue to post your web findings !

esofthub said...

I appreciate the encouragement regarding "esofthub's web finds."

After the second year, it's all good. I try my best to avoid Seoul -- too darn congested!!

Ipsofacto said...

Thanks for linking my site.

As I said, I originally linked to you because your site is something that I've started to read regularly and therefore felt the need to do it justice. You post some good info.

Don't get too excited though - my *blog* is more of a platform for my random rants, and is invariably not getting 1000s of hits! (although people do seem to be reading, which is odd given the content).

Ya, I concur with you re Seoul. Too congested/polluted

All the best !

Jennie said...

I appreciated that joke =P. Although, it makes me feel bad that his testicles are there because I'm Vietnamese.

HMTKSteve said...

That's a good one...

esofthub said...

Steve, I got it from a buddy in Korea